It’s my 25th birthday and I can crisis if I want to.
How to navigate a mid-pandemic quarter-life crisis.
Turning a quarter of a century is a milestone year. Defined as a period of time of relentless questioning and uncertainty, It forces you to reflect on your life so far and re-evaluate where you want to go.
So as I approached my 25th birthday the more anxious I became.
It felt as if time had slipped through my fingers sending me into a spiralling loop of disappointment. I kept thinking “I am not where I should be.” And this overwhelming feeling often overshadowed all of the great things I had achieved so far.
I know that it’s a lot of unnecessary pressure to bestow upon an age but hey, “today is my birthday and I can crisis if I want to”.
Determined not to dwell on it, I instead decided to realise a childhood dream. I started a blog! A goal that I scribbled on a page in my journal a long time ago and this year I finally got out my own damn way and did it!
Triggers of a quarter-life crisis
Out of the 15 signs of a quarter-life crisis listed by the Independent, I scored 12/15 but three, in particular, resonated with how I feel most.
To be or not to be a proper grown-up.
When I turned 25 I didn’t think that I would still be living at home with my parents. However, as a broke graduate neck-deep in student overdraft debt, it was the only and financially smart option. However, 3 years and a pandemic later I am still sleeping in my childhood bedroom. I’m not going to lie living at home has destroyed my confidence but I’m not alone. According to an article in the Guardian “Around 3.5 million single young adults in the UK are estimated to live with their parents”. Now add in a job that you hate and before you know it, you’ve hit the quarter-life crisis lottery.
F it and pack in the job but still must climb the career ladder
The burning desire to just walk into work and quit my job is a recurring Monday mood. A fantasy that I daydream about half asleep as I sit on the edge of my bed and stare into the unorganised chaos that is my wardrobe. Unfortunately, rationality kicks in and I make it through yet another week whilst I secretly scroll through LinkedIn under my desk, in search of the so-called “dream job” which may as well be at this point a unicorn.
Social Media life comparison
Ahh social media, “hello darkness my old friend”. If there is one thing that is the most triggering for a quarter-life crisis it’s this. Seeing the seemingly perfect lives and successes of others, you can’t help yourself but compare your life to theirs. Scrolling through announcements about marriage and babies makes you worry whether you will ever find the one and a certain biological clock starts to tick a little louder in your mind.
How to navigate a quarter-life crisis?
Navigating a crisis can be difficult and overwhelming. It’s like looking for a light switch in a pitch-black room, you may bump into a chair or two.
One of the chairs you might encounter is money and in my opinion, is one of the main differences between a quarter-life crisis and a mid-life crisis. At 25 I have hardly a thing to my name and a laughable amount of savings. So even if I wanted to follow a passion or finally move out of my parent’s house, I just didn’t have enough funds to do so.
So my advice is as follows:
1. Get your personal finances in order!
As I mentioned before I was neck-deep in overdraft debt but once I paid that off, for some reason I kept going in and out of my overdraft every month and was always “broke” even though I was working 2 jobs.
I didn’t know where my money was evaporating off to and I was too lazy to go looking. I was also financially illiterate. I am embarrassed to say that today I’m 25 years old and only just learned what APR stood for. Annual Percentage Rate for those who are just like me and don’t have a clue too.
This was something that wasn’t taught in schools and when talking about money was a taboo subject in your family culture it is easy to figure out how I have developed such poor money habits and lack of financial knowledge.
I’ve realised now that although we have the internet at our fingertips, learning about personal finance is something that you need to actively go out and seek knowledge for.
In just a few clicks you can find books, podcasts and videos on it. I highly recommend Tiffany Aliche — Get good with money and of course, Robert Kiyosaki — Rich Dad, Poor Dad, if you’re a complete newbie.
Check out my post on 3 books that kickstarted my personal finance journey for a more in-depth review.
The reason why I think getting your personal finances in order will help you to navigate your quarter-life crisis is that it’s something in your life that you can actively and immediately control. Then once you have become financially stable you can free up your mind to focus on your other goals and aspirations and actually have the funds and means to do so.
2. Practice gratitude.
This goes without saying that when you’re comparing your life to others it often feels as if you are losing a race that you didn’t even know you entered.
Take a moment to reflect and celebrate all your achievements so far both big and small.
For example, I have graduated from university, I have learned how to drive, I have travelled to Europe (pre-pandemic of course) and now I have started a blog.
Then take a moment from your busy day to jot down or even just whisper to yourself what you are grateful for, it could be as simple as a bed, electricity, good health. You can also express gratitude for the people in your life, perhaps that good friend that encouraged you to start that blog.
Gratitude will ground you to the already fantastic things you have now so that you can begin sculpting your own individual vision of success.
3. Follow your curiosity
For those lost and unsure about what they even want to do or what your “passions” and “purpose” are then I recommend you start with following your curiosity. Start observing the things that you naturally gravitate towards, What do you want to know more about? What do you seem to focus on for hours and it feels like minutes? What topic fills you with energy and enthusiasm whenever you talk about it? What type of books, TV shows and movies do you watch most? You will soon start to see a pattern.
Conclusion
Don’t subscribe to the societal norms and expectations of success. It’s a trap!
Something I am learning myself is to slow down, it’s not a race. The journey is almost always the best part.
Are you too going through a quarter-life crisis? If so any advice is always welcome.
